We are not the family that has given each of their children smart phones.
Hell, we aren't even the family that has given each of their children regular ole dinosaur phones either.
We have a total of four cellphones today. Smart phones for me and Larry, a phone for Josh (that he got on his 18th birthday), and what we call our "house cellphone."
When Larry and I upgraded last year from our Droid to an iPhone we let Jennifer and Harrison "have" our Droid's which allowed them to play games, listen to music, and text for free with an app (but the phone was obviously not activated any longer so they couldn't make any calls with them.)
It all seemed okay.
Harrison used his to play games, watch YouTube, and listen to music.
Jennifer used hers to play games, listen to music, text...and get herself onto social media.
Um, what?
Wait.
No.
We didn't allow Josh to even get onto Facebook until about the 11th grade. We asked Harrison about it but he is uninterested.
As for Jennifer she is in the seventh grade...and a girl. Okay, I know I shouldn't be sexist but, well, I am.
And I'm not here to justify or defend my position on the difference between RAISING SONS and RAISING DAUGHTERS. I will say this: IT IS DIFFERENT. Period.
Anyway.
Back to my daughter who I discovered was texting her friends but there were, well, issues because let's face it: girls can be mean any chance they fucking get.
Oy.
Granted, my daughter tried to defuse the situations and one could argue that it is teaching her how to navigate friendships, etc. Yeah, still don't care. She can learn how to navigate relationships in the REAL WORLD, face to face, the way children today SHOULD be learning. And from all that I read from every one of her texts to every one of her friends (Yep, I did) she wasn't mean but things were taken out of context and other friends were hurt by the new friend Jennifer was hanging around (Oh Me Gawd, Those Days) and it was all too much after awhile for even me to read.
And then I discovered my daughter on Instagram. Oh sure, her friends were there too and her photos were innocent and consisted of mainly silly girl photos and a bunch of quotes ("I may be good but I'm no angel"...a quote from Marilyn Monroe that is apparently my daughter's "favorite" quote. I'M SORRY, WHAAAA?) ...and the lengthy conversation about a photo that Jennifer wanted one of her friends to take off Instagram. I couldn't figure out what the photo was until I asked her and it was her in her PJs (embarrassing) at a recent sleepover.
So, I went to see what email address she was using for the Instagram account.
And didn't recognize it.
Nor could I access it with all the passwords I guessed.
Double Oy.
What the hell is happening here?
So, I had to have a talk with her.
A very long, very exhausting talk.
And then we had another very long talk a few days later when I told her that I don't think I'm giving back the Droid Sorta-Phone.
She cried.
Expected.
She said her friends were calling her a liar that she doesn't have her "phone" and want to know why she is ignoring all their texts? I told her to have them call the house cellphone and I will inform them personally. (Brats.)
Some of the things she texted her "BFF" kinda hurt me (Don't all children rag on their parents? Larry said to me. "I don't really want to think about it, thankyouverymuch") and I questioned her about it and apparently my daughter is still harboring hurt feelings that I would not allow her to go to Haunted World back in October when I clearly let Harrison go one year.
So, I then had a very long, very exhausting conversation about the difference between boys and girls. And the difference between her older brothers and herself. And how that is how the cookie crumbles, sweetheart.
Sorry.
Not really.
I know at twelve she has no idea why I am being such a mean and protective parent.
Okay.
She doesn't have to get it right now. One day, hopefully. In the meantime, I need to make sure my daughter is safe, protected, well-fed with a roof over her head AND isn't on social media, where she shouldn't be, and we wouldn't allow in the seventh grade, indicating her age AND the school she attends.
Fuck me.
Not to mention the mean things boys and girls have said to her on social media.
Which then began another very long, very exhausting conversation about girls and social media and how much easier it is to hide behind your keyboard compared to saying something to someone's face. Girls are mean enough, good lord they don't need social media on top of it all. And boys...shit, don't get me started...they can be mean too. Sigh.
For now, the phone is now back in my possession. A little parental side note here: I KNEW, just KNEW that it was going to be a mistake giving that girl the Droid "phone" when we got our iPhones. I should have listened to my gut.
Anyway.
Middle school is hard enough with all the changes going on - she doesn't need to get buried in texts, hurt feelings, mean comments, hurtful comments, and, dear god, social media.
Find something else to do. (Which she is now forced to do.)
Recent Comments