I guess not really a debate because it is only something I debate with myself.
I grew up with a mother who loved/loves to set tables for holidays all fancy like. She always had a very pretty and festive table.
It isn't that I don't enjoy a fancy table. I mean, whenever I did my tea parties I loved setting a really pretty table. And it certainly isn't like I don't have the stuff it takes to set a table. I own over sixty variety of plates, countless flatware, endless glass options. I have silver platters, crystal bowls, and serving plates in many different shapes, sizes, and patterns. I own plenty of bowls, plenty of cups, plenty of cake platters, cupcake towers, and olive dishes. Hell, I can even serve coffee for a hundred and punch for thirty.
So, the stuff I got.
But for whatever reason I battle myself every holiday I host.
While I enjoy a pretty table I love being with loved ones more. I love when people are comfortable in my home. I love having a conversation. Not that my mom didn't accomplish that ALONG with her pretty table but sometimes I feel like the focus was/is TOO MUCH on the table (and everything being just so and just perfect) and not enough on the people.
Or on the food.
And this is also not saying that my mom didn't know how to put on a spread. Believe me when I say there was NEVER anyone who wondered if my mom had enough food on the table or if anyone would go hungry. Her food was ALWAYS GOOD and ALWAYS ENOUGH for triple the number of guests.
I would love nothing more than to have people who are very comfortable in my home and to cook and serve food for them made with love...and not care one bit about the plate it was served on or whether or not my centerpiece would win an award with Martha Stewart Living.
This past Christmas I was to host about 22 people for a sit down dinner, posing a couple small problems about exactly how to accomplish that with the space I have (my nook holds a comfortable 18, a tight squeeze at 20, and squished like pickles in a jar at 22) and the lack of chairs I own. However, the first thing that popped into my head: we are using paper plates. I know it isn't as elegant but I was far more interested in my menu and the White Elephant game to even care about the table setting. I feel like I am going against the grain - within myself - although my mother initially indicated she hates paper plates at the holidays but was willing to succumb to this little detail (oh, thank you since it is technically my house. But, whatever). Maybe it is just laziness because the thought of all those dishes...oy.
Maybe there simply is no reason other than I don't really care whether we use paper plates and plastic forks. Do people really care if I break out the silver polish and spend an afternoon polishing the silver (don't laugh, I have done that many years) and set an elaborate table complete with napkin rings and individual pepper and salt shakers?
Just know this: if you ever wind up at my home for whatever holiday/event/reason I will cook with love and knowing that I am feeding people that matter to me is what matters most of all...even if that means you are eating on the floor with a paper plate.
Okay, I draw the line at eating on the floor.
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