The top five things in each category that I don't like.
FOODS
1. Lasagna. I want to like it, but I just can't get around the ricotta cheese and the sauce. I don't know. Ew. I'll still eat it but I won't really like it.
2. Quiche/Fritatta. Something about the egg. Underwhelmed.
3. Okra. They are slimy and gross.
4. Enchiladas. Sort of the same feeling with the lasagna. I'll eat it but it won't knock my socks off.
5. Anything I have to eat with my hands. I like to eat my pizza with a fork. I know, I know, my family rolls their eyes at me too. I also do not like chicken wings...unless they are boneless...because the chicken wing must be eaten by hand and then they take so much effort to eat those little buggers. I know this doesn't qualify as a food, per se, but apparently there isn't much I won't eat.
CELEBRITIES
1. The Kardashians. Isn't their time in the spotlight about up? And just when you think we have seen them all entirely too much the two younger ones are now looking like teenage tramps too. Good God, enough of these people.
2. Miley Cyrus. I hate "child stars" (and I use the word "star" very loosely) who throw dirt on what made them famous in the first place. Mediocre talent and a girl-woman who likes to play with foam fingers and wants to make sure the world is watching at all times. We get it loud and fucking clear, you aren't Hannah.
3. Kayne West. See #1. What a pompous full-of-himself asshole. What in the world is attractive about this guy? One word: nada.
4. Robert Pattinson. The Twilight guy. Maybe I am too old but I don't see it. He has absolutely no sex appeal for me. And I still can't quite get over his interview when Twilight first came out and he answered Jay Leno, "oh, Twilight was a book?" Go away.
5. Sherri Shepard. There is never a time that woman opens her mouth on The View and I think, "yeah! I agree!". Nope. Not ever. And when she is "overly excited" and forgets that she has a microphone clipped to her chest and she...oh me gawd...screams, I want to crawl into a corner and die.
WORDS
1. Megga. Hello, 1980. For the love of Gawd, stop.
2. Meemaw. Okay, I'm sorry but who - no really, WHO? would want to be called "Meemaw" instead of "grandmother" or "grandma?" Meemaw sounds like you just fell off a three wheel truck traveling on a dirt road in the middle of Tennessee and left your teeth in a wooden shack you call home. Come on, even your first name would be better than Meemaw. Gah.
3. "Do you know who I am?" I would like to slap any "celebrity" who says this anywhere in any situation. Perhaps they are unaware that we all kinda end up in the same place and I'm pretty sure their slice of heaven is not going to be gold-lined or any more colorful than what the rest of us will experience...and I'm also pretty sure their dirt hole will be exactly the same kind of dirt used in non-celebrity graves. Get. Over. Yourselves. You. Aren't. Curing. Cancer...You. Um. Act.
4. Hashtag. You're kidding, right? Stop saying hastag in front of your sentences. You are not twelve. And even then it sounds stupid.
5. Oh My Heck. Hello, I'm mormon and can't say, hear, or read words like shit. Or fuck. Or bullshit. Or asshole. Or motherfucking asshole. You get the idea. You might as well be wearing a long dress and have bangs pulled aside with a pretty clip while you sit with your sister wives and after someone says something about how the jam you were canning turned moldy...your response: Oh my heck! You know you really want to say, "what the fuck happened?!"
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