The Annoyances Of Facebook

There are a few things that just bug me about Facebook.

1. The Bragger. I have a friend who is constantly showing photos of everything she buys for herself, her husband, and her family. And not little things either but expensive laptops, game systems, purses, shoes - and so on. Mind you, this is not a "rich" friend but someone who likes to come across that way, perhaps? I always wonder why she has to brag so much? And if she is unaware that she is bragging - why show the expensive purse you just had to buy? Or the name brand whatever that you provide links to the website so everyone can see just how much you are willing to spend on an organizer or a set of coffee mugs imported from the south of France. I mean, who are you kidding exactly besides yourself?

2. The Selfie-Photographer. Have we learned nothing from Geraldo Rivera? Give me a break. Is there ever an age when this is okay? I guess teenagers enjoy looking at one another with photos taken of themselves in a bathroom mirror (am I the only one who looks around the bathroom in the photo and gets grossed out?). Why do people do this? Are you shallow? Insecure? Pompous? Proud of your boobs and/or strong muscles? Along with the pants halfway down your asses I can only hope this "fad" ends soon. Bleh.

3. The Grown-up Versions of the Selfie's. You know, the (mainly) women who snap their photos while sitting at a table, driving in their car, immediately after a haircut, standing with the ocean behind them and their hair blowing, up close at every opportunity imaginable. I call these women The Attention Whores because the comments are always the same, "oh, you look sooo pretty"; "hey pretty lady!" "You are so gorgeous" and so on. Okay, we get it. You are lookin' great and you want to take a picture of yourself and let the comments soak in and fill you up. But when you are one that constantly take photos like this of yourself...and posts it to Facebook - and believe me there are a few on my Facebook list that do this with regularity - then you, my friend, are an Attention Whore.

4. Posts that have been copied and pasted about privacy and other legal bullshit and that unless you do this or that you will be removed from their friend list. First, for the love of God, check Snopes before you post this total nonsense. Second, unless I haven't noticed not one person has removed me after posting this kind of thing for the required two week period. Stop.

5. Posts that tell me I have no heart unless I re-post on my own wall and leave it up for an hour, a day, a weekend, a week, a month, a year - otherwise I'll go to hell. I think I'll take my chances.

6. The Oops, I Didn't Realize My Entire Friend List Can See This. Like the time a friend of mine shared links to what he was saving on PinCrack - which happened to be images of naked gay men in, um, interesting positions.

7. The Overly Religious-Overly Political shares. We get it! You are a liberal! We get it! You hate Obama! We get it! You hate Obamacare! We get it! Republicans dating back to Reagan are to blame for the whales migrating to South America and the high price of flax seed! We Get it! Jesus is my friend! We get it! Prayer heals! We get it! If prayer was allowed in school, there would be no more shootings! We get it! Stop blaming this administration and blame the previous one! We get it! Stop blaming the past administration and blame the current one! Oh, holy fuck, enough.

8. Games. Play your games away from Facebook so you don't have to show me every time you reach a new stage of Puppy Daycare. I also don't care how many coins you earned in Jackpot or how many cows you need in Farmville or how many levels you beat (or didn't beat, drats! The difficulty of each level!) in Candy Crush. Doesn't anyone know how to play a game without it posting for everyone to see on Facebook? This is when teenagers are right: adults should not be on Facebook because we are so gawddamn lame!

9. The Announcer. I'm getting off Facebook forever and this is my last post. Okay, until you reappear sometime in the (near) future suddenly renewed. If you want to get off Facebook, um, just get off. Okay, that sounded wrong. I mean, you can get off anytime you wish...but you don't need to announce you are finished with Facebook whenever the whim (or Jesus) strikes. Just stay off. Who cares?

10. Who knew I had such a long list? I sat down with only three in my notes and here I am.

11. Vague Posts. Okay, everyone gets a free pass once in awhile here but when all you do is post vague posts that could be about anyone, about anything and leaves everyone asking you what is going on...oh grow up. Either keep it to yourself or be a bit more clear. I hate all the ambiguous posts about secrets and things and people that they can't quite share...yet. Get over yourselves.