Dear Lord. Three more months before I hang up my glow-in-the-dark vest and move on from standing in the freezing cold every morning.
Parents are impatient, rude, and annoying. I have been almost run over twice. Are you kidding me? Both times it was while I was out in the center of the street with my sign up. What the Fuck? Both times they came within inches of me. The first time it happened I was almost too shocked to do anything other than turn and face the driver (we were quite close) and she didn't look at me. I looked for the car again, and didn't see her. Good. The second time I paid more attention to both car and driver and was prepared to go up to the old guy in his champagne colored Cadillac the next time he decided to ignore my STOP SIGN and drive right on through. I see him daily and he waves at me...and I have written his license plate down, just in case.
I really don't like being almost run over.
Lately it seems that there are more and more impatient parents out there. Sometimes they shake their head, sometimes they inch forward (which makes me nervous! They could easily step on the gas without realizing it and hopefully just run me over and not some little child!!), and sometimes they use arm/hand motions. Let me just say: I do not have the right personality for this type of job, perhaps. Because I want to go up to their car and ask them what the hell is their problem?!? I usually shake my head back and make (minor) motions too (when they are lifting their hands trying to communicate why they have to sit there STILL when it doesn't appear to be any children coming and yet two seconds later...what I CAN SEE THAT THEY CAN'T...another child appears at the crosswalk).
I'm sorry that they are LATE and in a hurry and anxious to get to work/the gym/breakfast/back home/coffee...blah blah blah. Whatever. I don't really give a shit where you are headed to in such a hurry that I have to put any kid in jeopordy. How about you get up earlier and get out the door earlier so you don't have to be impatient and rude to the crossing guard for God's sake! Can you imagine what they are like elsewhere?
They speed too...which I have noticed and have taken an informal poll that it would appear two types of people speed down that side street: fathers and old people. I am ALWAYS motioning people to slow down, which also causes MORE dirty looks my way and in one case the woman was barrelling down the street and I stepped off the curb just to motion her to realize she is about to blaze through a crosswalk going 40mph. She was not happy...in fact, she made some "I know! I know! Shut the fuck up!" motion to me as she attempted to slow down.
What always blows my mind about these parents is that I am crossing KIDS. Kids that could be THEIR kids. If I were crossing THEIR kids would they want parents to be blowing through my crosswalk, despite my stop sign and standing in the crosswalk? Would they want parents driving 40mph through the crosswalk? Yeah, I don't think so.
One afternoon I crossed a mom with her group of four or five little children and she made some reference to how she hates to have to stop when I put my sign up and wait and wait when all she wants to do is go home. I cross her kids every single morning. I looked at her and just shook my head and said, "wow". Yeah, life is SO ROUGH that you have to spend maybe three extra minutes WAITING for me to cross little elementary children safely across the street. Oh, the horrors!!! Thank God there aren't people going without jobs and food in this country because certainly she should start up a cause of other pretentious and arrogant mothers who can't possibly be delayed by a crossing guard when she must get home so she could get to her many tasks.
And, let's not forget about the little ones. I have a few who, if they see their parents across the street, will just randomly run across. Now, I see them coming and tell them they have to cross with me. Lord help me.
Because of budget cuts they have cut our hours and so there was one little boy who comes to the crosswalk in the afternoon about fifteen minutes before I am scheduled to be on duty and therefore he crosses as I am not on the clock anymore. This one kid's safety is apparently not worth the few bucks they pay me to stand there. If I was his parent, I would be pissed.
And, the day I almost had a heart attack: the afternoons can be a little crazy especially on Friday's or if the weather is warm and sunny. In the mornings they come in small doses but in the afternoon they appear in about three large batches (which is why it cracks me up when parents are impatient and rude because surely they see the trend by now, right? Either go earlier, slightly later, or take another damn street!!!) and sometimes they forget they have to wait for me. (Yeah, it is super fun.) This day I was facing them and waiting for a bunch of cars to pass when one of the boys I cross morning and afternoon decided to just run out into the street. He is probably a first grader and for some reason he wasn't paying attention and normally my reflexes are quite fast but that day for some reason I was taken aback...the boy stepped off the curb and took about four steps before me and his brother grabbed him...as cars are driving up and down the street. Oh. My. God. Which is why I get irritated when parents/grandparents are driving too fast because if they were driving 15, as they should be, if a kid DID run out past me the driver would have been able to stop. These cars would never have stopped in time. (But, yeah, hurry up because you have to rush to swim lessons and piano lessons while you talk on the phone...as you cross my crosswalk. SLOW DOWN, PEOPLE!)
Now, it isn't all bad. There are MANY kids that are just delightful and sweet and I enjoy seeing them on a daily basis. I get sweet hugs from some, high fives, and wishes for good days.
May 25 will be my last day. Jennifer will move on from elementary school to middle school and I will no longer do this job. I realized after the second year of dealing with cold, frigid, and wet mornings/afternoons that it isn't a whole lot of fun. Plus, I am not enamored with the school anymore since the principal left at the end of the school year last June...so I am kinda glad this is my last year at the school.
I'm more than ready to do something different with my day and pass the stop sign to some other sucker.
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