I wish we could go back to a much simpler time when this holiday was less about ALL the wrapped gifts under the tree and more about the spirit of the holiday season. Enjoying family and friends, sitting and having a conversation over a glass of wine, driving around looking at Christmas lights, watching a holiday movie with the fireplace on, watching the snow fall, listening to Christmas music, baking on a cold day, and helping others.
This is the first year that I don't anticipate buying any real "toys" for my kids. Toys'r'Us will not be on my radar this year and I can't seem to believe it. Sure, Jennifer asked for a few little toy-like items but nothing like baby dolls, Barbies, and colorful packages filled with a hundred little pieces of plastic. Sigh.
Every year we try and rein the gift giving in and some years we tend to go overboard because we end up, pathetically, finding so many things we know the kids would love. Our general rule of thumb is three gifts plus Santa always brings one special something...and the little items in the stocking. It is just enough to get a lot of what they "wanted", plenty to unwrap, and yet not get overwhelmed with a huge pile of stuff.
I am typing this post in mid-October (I have a novel project to start and finish during the month of November so I need all my posts written and ready to be pubished) and my kids gave me their Christmas lists weeks ago (I asked for them) and Larry and I go through it and decide what we can leave up to Santa and what other things we will buy them. I love that my oldest put stuff like a special shampoo and toothpaste on his list! My middle son started a list with every item over $140 and I quickly asked him to toss that list in the trash and start over. We do not buy overly extravagant gifts.
The whole minimum gifts is mainly because I don't want the "gimme-more" attitude that surely follows overabundance of gifts. Not only that but if they are really young they quickly start to get tired of opening all those gifts because they are anxious to play with what they already opened! I also find too many gifts rather vulgar and doesn't make the person any happier than if they got two or three things they REALLY wanted.
I remember when Larry and I were first married and my mother-in-law asked me for my Christmas list (I had never written a list before...we just didn't do that in my family) and so I compiled a list of maybe twenty things ranging from a few dollars to maybe fifty, sixty dollars. On Christmas day every single item on my Christmas list was under that tree and I remember feeling one thing: embarrassed. I was not as happy if she had just thought of a couple of items to give me. Instead, I was mortified that she had a) spent that much; and b) that it somehow took away the meaning of Christmas for me. Anyone can just go and buy everything on a list for someone...but it takes a bit more care and effort to THINK ABOUT and pick out something that you know that person would really like. That is special.
I have been trying to teach my kids how to give gifts and to think about the person and how it doesn't have to cost very much money to make something or buy something meaningful and special for another person. Only time will tell if they are getting this message.
Every year my list of people to buy for seems to go way down. I pretty much only buy for the little kids in my family, my mom, and only one teacher (which will end after this year when Jennifer heads to middle school next year), and a handful of teachers and people at the church (Josh volunteers and so I like to give a few little things to the half dozen people he "works" with plus Jennifer has...also for the last year...a set of two or three teachers for her religious education class). That's kinda it. I may bake a few things for neighbors and some adults or maybe stitch a towel or two, but overall it isn't too overwhelming.
I asked a friend one day what her budget for Christmas is like and she said she was going to try really hard to cut back to hopefully $3000. I almost choked. Is this the norm out there and I am in a la-la land of cluelessness and my kids will grow up and feel deprived of bells and whistles-a-plenty?!? Oh. My. God. Three THOUSAND? I don't even come close to a 1/3 of that. Wow. Speechless and horrified. (And we won't even go down the road of how these people SPEND for a holiday like that!!! I can certainly guess though, can't you?)
My kids all get excited for Christmas and I try very hard to spend the next month doing fun family things together and focusing less on all those gifts and more on the season and giving and being together. (God, I try!)
This year will also be wonderful because Larry is now home and not flying in for a week "visit".
Do you buy a lot of gifts for your kids? How do you make time for more important things than just presents as we head into the season?
i about flipped a lid when you said your friend spends $3,000. you've got to be kiding me. maybe if she has a income of a millionaire. we spend $650 dollars on all of our family and i still think it's too much. granted right now i have little ones and they aren't very expensive but i want to see in the future when they can volunteer for them to experience the true meaning of Jesus's birth. I'm totally with you on Christmas.
Posted by: nicole | Tuesday, November 29, 2011 at 01:53 PM