Rough Draft

One Day Of Special

I have this thing with birthdays.  I don't think it has to be all about gifts and hoopla but I do feel it needs to be made special, even in the smallest of details.

Because all three of my kids birthdays fall during school holidays (June, July, and the very beginning of January...there was only a couple of times that the June and January kids had to go to school ON their birthdays) we are able to have a little more freedom in how we celebrate.

I ask the kids what they want to eat for their birthday...not just dinner but breakfast and lunch too.  Plus, what kind of dessert they want.  And I make anything they ask for! It is their day and I want it to be special.  I guess to me, food is a way to show how much I care...it nourishes, it makes us feel warm and safe and happy, and it is the cornerstone for creating good memories throughout their lives. 

We don't do a lot of birthday "gifts"...normally just one small thing...and a "party" if they want it (when they were younger, of course, we had parties every year.  That changes a wee bit as they get older, sadly).  Plus, we do our balloons in the bedroom tradition.

I had a birthday a couple of months ago and while my husband and kids made it very special (handmade cards, a small gift I've been wanting for a long time, and hugs and definitely the presence of love) and for that I can end this because my immediate family is what matters most.  However, disappointments outside my immediate family begins to pick away at my happiness, little by little, and I try so hard to shake the funk I feel on my birthday.  I hate that I feel that way, but, alas, I do.

I guess at the end of the day it boiled down to some simple wishes.  I just want to feel as though I matter to the people that are close to me in my life.  I would have liked to not have to make my own breakfast, lunch, and most of the dinner.  And, above all, I would have liked a homemade birthday cake.  I'm not looking for anything lavish, just the feeling that someone cares about making my day special.

I guess there is always next year...

Dinnertime

I have this thing about dinnertime. 

We sit around our table every single night for dinner with very few exceptions.  We say grace.  We talk about our day.  We laugh and joke.  We tell stories and the kids sometimes get annoyed with one another and there are nights when someone gets upset.  But, it is a time that I have begun to LOVE and cherish and enjoy as these days are fleeting...

Growing up and Larry and I share different histories.  I always sat at our table every night for dinner.  We said grace.  The difference between my childhood and how I operate is that my parents loved to have the television going while they ate and under no circumstances do I allow the TV, cell phones, Ipods, or anything else at the dinner table.

Larry, on the other hand, grew up in the late sixties/seventies when TV trays were all the rage.  He never recalls sitting around the table to eat dinner with his parents.  (Maybe unrelated but his family...siblings...have always been a bit disjointed and maybe this plays a part.)

I think family dinnertime is important.  I think it is a time to sit down, enjoy one another, talk, listen, and bond as a family over a meal.  I believe that these little moments is what children will remember most.  How I always ask Josh to get my water and he laughs at me every night because sometimes I walk right past it, but I still ask him.  Or, how we talk about school and friends and grades.  Or, how we eat a meal that I prepared because I love and care about my family and sometimes the meals are a flop and we giggle.  Or, how when Nana is in town the grace is said in lightening speed and we all give each other the eye that says, "this is crazy fast!"  Or, how inevitably we end up talking about something inappropriate like how each child was born, how it isn't polite to burp or fart at the table (usually after someone has), boys and their prized jewels, women and their monthly cycles, etc.  Or, how they can recite word for word how I advise them to stay away from drugs, smoking, drinking, and sex (unless they want a baby forever and ever) and plan on going to college.

Time goes fast.  Children grow up.  Things change.  I can't say that I will miss all the noise the boys make or how Josh is always picking on his little sister.  I can't say that I will mourn the day when there is less laundry to do every week or driving kids to and from school every day. 

But, I will miss our dinnertime together.

Recently, I was watching a show that talked about the benefits of sharing meals at a table with your children and I thought the list was interesting and a message worth spreading:

1.  Improved vocabulary
2.  Better performance in school
3.  Reduced chance of obesity
4.  Reduced rate of teen pregnancy
5.  Reduced rate of drug use
6.  Reduced rate of depression

Wordless Wednesday

Obsessed (Say No To Coupons!)

I admit it.

I am obsessed with other people's shopping habits.  How they plan their meals?  What types of meals do they prepare or serve?  Do they have a monthly food budget?  What kinds of convenience foods do they buy?

I have several articles in various stages of completion on this subject.  Do you want to help me with a little research for my articles?? (Pretty please.)

To be fair, I will answer some of my own questions.

How do I plan my meals? 

In a nutshell, I plan by the month (it just works for me) based on what I have in my pantry (like extra boxes of pasta or cans of coconut milk or tuna) and I like to have a fairly current freezer inventory so I can make sure I recycle those items too.  Then, I pour over my notebooks (by theme, for instance: I have 3-ring binders for meat, chicken, crock-pot, ethnic, meatless, salads, etc.) and pull out recipes that include some or all of the ingredients I already have in my pantry/freezer and go from there.  Then, I like to make sure I spread out the types of meals so we aren't eating chicken every night.  I like one or two to be meatless, another pasta, soup now that we are heading into colder weather, chicken, crock pot and one night of beef or pork.  I also read the recipe and make sure that it doesn't have fifty steps and determine what is going on that week...for nights when we have a lot going on, for instance, I try and plan an easy, fast meal or put something in the crock pot.  On the weekends I always want a little something more like a nice roast or a pot of chili.

What types of meals do I plan and serve?

Growing up it seemed my mom made a handful of "old faithfuls" like spaghetti, lentils, cutlets, pot roast, chicken, and barbecue steak.  For me, I love to cook and experiment and try new things.  I like giving my kids the opportunity to try new things so they don't become too picky eating only the same few foods.  I almost always start from scratch and try to stay clear of anything in a box, for the most part (exceptions being pasta, cereal, and crackers) but that doesn't mean it is laborious and complicated.  Most nights my meals are fairly simple and straight forward.  I like to have fun in the kitchen so my menu varies each and every week.  Old favorites do appear regularly but if I make something too often we all tire quickly.

Do I have a food budget? 

I will say that my budget of 450-500 is what I allow myself but I ALWAYS try and do well below that.  Most months it seems to teeter around the $350 range, sometimes much lower than that (depends on the recipes I pick and what I am using up from my freezer and pantry!).  However, the prices for food continues to increase and so some months are more of a challenge.  This cost does include non-food items like deodorant, toilet paper, napkins, laundry soap, etc.

What kinds of convenience foods do I buy?

When Larry and I were first married our freezers were full of nothing but boxes from Costco.  Flavored chicken, Asian bowls, teryiaki meat on skewers, mini hamburgers, burritos, corndogs.  For years and years this is how I cooked and it was during THOSE years that I began to put on weight, never once having a weight issue before then. 

Today, I walk right past all those boxes at Costco and stick to as many whole foods as possible.

At the beginning og summer I bought boxed mac and cheese in bulk at Costco because Jennifer loves it and I thought it would be a quick lunch while the kids are home.  I think we used all of about three boxes and still have several boxes still left!  My good friend and neighbor, Sara, has a husband who works for Nabisco and she will sometimes bring me boxed cookies and crackers so I have those dozens of boxes sitting in my pantry right now.  Does string cheese or Go-Gert count as convenience?  I buy those every month.  All I can think of is the frozen chicken breasts (the plain, unflavored ones) that Costco sells, canned beans or fruit, cup of soup for kids lunches on the weekend/school breaks, and salad dressings.

WOULD YOU SHARE SOME OF YOUR SHOPPING/FOOD/MEAL PLAN STORIES WITH ME????? 

What do you spend at the grocery store(s) on average???  How often do you shop?  Do you go to only one store or do you go to several (which ones and why)?? TELL ME ANYTHING ON THIS SUBJECT!!

Jennifer came home one day after going to Costco with her friend and their family and I asked her at dinner what kinds of things did they have in their cart? She thought about it and said, "a bunch of boxes, mom!!"  Then, because I am incredibly curious, I asked her if she noticed what she spent on ALL that convenience/processed (crap) food?  She laughed, as did the rest of my family, and she said, "I didn't notice."  My husband was shaking his head at me but I am always watching people at Costco and what they put in their carts and when one of my kids (or husband) wants something I immediately show them a) how many preservatives are in the item and how high in fat/sodium/sugar; and b) how easy it would be to make it from scratch!  I told you, I am rather obsessed!!

So, if you would like to answer any or all of the questions please feel free to do so in the comment section but if you would rather keep it private, my email address is on my blog (if you can't find it, leave me a note in the comments and I will contact you with my email address).  THANK YOU!!!!!

Oh, and P.S.  If I use your information in my article, I will contact you first if I can use your name.

Tales From The Crosswalk, Season Two

 

1.  The Bitch Lady Graduated. 

Thank the good Lord above but the lady that gave me snarly, ugly looks each and every day, not to mention occasionally ignoring my stop sign to speed past me, had a son (apparently) in the fifth grade and he has since moved onto middle school.  I do not need to wake up to that misery anymore.  There is a god.

2.  The Crosswalk Conspiracy.

The first week of school an older grandfather asked me how many kids do I cross everyday?  Come again?  I have no idea but I knew that this sort of random curiosity on this guys part wouldn't be satisfied without a number so I said, "Oh, I don't know, maybe forty?"  When I came home and told my mom what this guy asked me she became very worried.  "Do you think the district is sending people out to check on how many kids you cross? Maybe they will determine they don't need a crossing guard there."  Okay, if I thought the crazy old guy was funny for asking me such a weird question my mom's response was even crazier.  I assured my mother that I'm pretty sure the district doesn't have the funds to send out mystery grandfathers to check up on crossing guards.

3.  FIRE! FIRE!

I get that parents are in a hurry to get their kids to school on time and some people just seem to ALWAYS be late but can we slow the hell down a little bit?

4.  Irony.

I know that the parents that come speeding down my street like bats on wheels flying out of hell are the same assholes who put up those stupid, fucking signs telling people in neighborhoods to "slow down; children at play".

5.  Don't Buy A House Across The Street From The School If You Don't Plan To Send Your Kids To School There.

Who rents a house across from a school and then drives their kid to some other school?  Last year I thought it was because it was late spring and they didn't want to uproot their kids mid-school year.  But, this year the kids are STILL driven somewhere else.  What the hell?  Maybe they didn't notice the crosswalk leading to the playground when they signed on the dotted line.

6.  And Speaking Of The House Across The Street From The School...

a) she speeds out of her driveway as if she is utterly annoyed by the amount of cars driving down HER street and dammit, she is in a hurry to get her kids to a school across town; and b) she never waves or smiles at me, which bugs me.

7.  Morons.

The ones that block the crosswalk because little Jimmy will only take three seconds (a full minute) to get his ass out of the car.

The ones that shake their heads in annoyance when someone pulls over in front of them.  Do you need more warning? Is the fact that you are ALL driving down that street with one goal in mind too complicated to understand?  Everyone is bound to pull over to let little Jimmy and little Sally out of the car.

The parents who don't teach their children to use a crosswalk.  Oy.

8.  The Parking Spot That Makes Me A Crazed Lunatic.

I like to park in the afternoons on the same side of the street as the school just north of the crosswalk.  Last year I battled a woman for that spot to the point that I was arriving 45 minutes before the bell.  This year, however, she has succumbed to let me have it and now I can arrive minutes before my shift starts and just about always get that spot. 

9.  MOVE!

However, there are a few still clueless.  Why do people, who know I park where I park everyday, insist on occasionally parking in my spot when there are virtually half a dozen equally close, equally good parking spots?

10.  Signs That Annoy

I recently obtained another cone with a big yellow sign attached to it that I now put in the middle of the street.  The looks I got were like, "WHAT have you done to our street?!?"  And yet, it still doesn't seem to slow certain assholes down.

11.  The Crazy Afternoon

Some days the kids are just wacky.  On one afternoon, I had a couple of cars with irritated drivers...they didn't want to stop or they were confused because some kids needed to walk BACK to the school and my back was to them and didn't initially see them and me and a car did a little stop and go dance that bugged the crap out of her...I had one boy riding his bike who hit a little girl on her scooter...and a dozen kids stepping off the sidewalk before I could get my sign up.  Settle down now, settle down.  Ten minutes of work and an hour of recovery.

12.  Is It Summer Yet?

This little job of mine is all fine and dandy when I'm out there in my capris, sandals, and t-shirts but another thing altogether when I have to endure the freaking elements of cold, wind, rain, frost.  Ugh.  I'm already over the need for gloves, jackets, and warmer shoes and we are barely into November!!  Like my children, I am also counting down the days to the next school break.

13.  I'm Mean

Sometimes cars/parents just piss me off.  Maybe I am in a pissed off mood, I'm not sure, but I love it when I see a car flying down the street and a kid walks up that needs to be crossed and I can stop his ass.  Makes me smile a little on the inside.

14.  Teach The Children!

When a grown-up says, "Good Morning" you say, "Good Morning" back.  I have a couple of kids that are absolutely silent.  For some reason I find this annoying.  (Okay, maybe they are just shy.)

15.  Brat

I would say about 99% of the kids I cross are really sweet and polite and for the most part they listen when I ask them to walk their bikes and scooters across the street...and then you come across a little boy by the name of Nick (not his real name). 

One chilly morning as the bell was about to ring I notice Nick walking down the pathway and towards my crosswalk.  Normally the kids are not allowed to leave the playground once they arrive but for some reason this kid slipped through the cracks.  I know who Nick is since he is the little brother of a friend of Jennifer's who also happens to live about five houses up the street from the school.  I stop Nick because he is, hello, leaving the school! He says he is cold and wants to go home for his jacket.  I tell him that as soon as the bell rings I will walk him into the office and we will call his mom.  That was when he began to cry uncontrollably and grab hold of a post and not let go.  He would not listen to one word I said.  I promised we could get his mom here very soon if he would just go back into school.  He just kept screaming and crying and would not budge off the pole.  Dear God.  A woman meanwhile drives by who knows this kid and the family and within a few minutes his mom is walking down the street (someone I also know from a past life, long story) with Nick's jacket. 

She bends down to comfort him and says, "Nick! Next time just come home!!!"  UM, HELLO.  I said, "Elizabeth (again, not her real name) he is NOT ALLOWED to leave school once he gets onto the playground and I'm pretty sure you would not want your first grader walking the street and panicking if you happen to not be home that morning.  I told him I would walk him into the office and the secretary would call you."  "Oh" she says.  Give me a break.  How about teaching this son of yours how to listen to adults?!?

16.  A Honk And An Impatient Lady

Last week I was standing out in the middle of the street in the afternoon and if you happen to drive down that street at just the right time (bell rings at 3:45...busy time hits between 3:48-3:53) you better plan to sit and wait.  Well, not only did I have someone from behind me honk, not once but twice, and I turned around with a, "really?!?!" expression that the older woman in front of me kept inching closer and closer and CLOSER to me in the crosswalk.  Seriously.  I looked at her and said, "are you kidding me? Where ARE YOU GOING?"  If for whatever reason she accidentally hit the gas and not the brake I would never have had time to get out of the way before she barrelled into me.  Honestly people, stay a bit further back!!!

17.  Decisions, Decisions

I came to this decision pretty fast.  Next year I will not be returning to this job.  Jennifer will be in middle school and I will have a quiet house by 7:25 every morning.  If we still had our other principal, perhaps I would have considered another year, but (long story) I don't feel necessarily good in my role at this school and really glad this is my child's last.  I am done with standing out there and freezing my ass off every day.

National Novel Writing Month

For thirty days this month many writers around the world are participating in what they call NANOWRIMO.  The goal? Finish a first draft, 50,000 words, by November 30th.

I have signed on to participate for the month of witing craziness that started today and hopefully by the time this posts I have completed approximately 2000 words.  I have been ironing out my plot for the past week or two...trying to research supernatural events...sketching out characters...trying to come up with a working title (hope something comes to me soon)...and make any last minute changes to my (fingers crossed) outline.

I sit in here in my office and work for about six hours a day...but only three of the five days a week I actually write.  The other two days are spent sending out queries, filing, researching, and updating my blog.  And, I normally don't seem to find the time over the weekend to get much writing done so this month will be quite a challenge to do the other things I normally do during a week plus work on a 50,000 word novel.

Wish me luck.  And away we go...

Time Flies With My Calendar

As of today, it is officially The Holidays.  Oh sure, it is only November 1st but the minute Halloween hits we are on the fast track to the holidays.  You'll see.  In no time we will be carving turkey, then the snow will start to fall, the trees go up in living rooms everywhere, and the frenzy to shop and wrap will commence. 

In one glorious swoop we will be knee deep in kissing 2011 a fond farewell.  Don't blink!!

Which brings me to another point on the life of My Calendar.  Once we ring in the new year and the kids go back to school it will only be a blink of an eye before summer is upon us.

No, really.

As the cold months push us forward through the end of January and into Valentine's day and the anticipation of spring and Easter will give us some hope to see warm, sunny days again...we will then be heading into the last phase of school where the teachers cram as many activities, field trips, and projects-that-must-be-done-at-home into our lives and BOOM! Summer vacation will be here.

Merry Christmas and Happy Memorial Day.