Oh, my little Beagle dog. Double sigh.
Wayyyy back when we had two Beagle dogs (Lord, what in the H.E.L.L. were we thinking?) we researched some training programs and went with a company called Bark Busters.
Several hundred dollars later...we still had (now one) a Beagle dog who did little more than sit. All their well-pumped brainwashing bullshit got us absolutely nowhere with this dog.
Answering the door is a nightmare.
If someone walks across the street, minding their own business, she goes bat shit.
If children or motor bikes or a bird appears ever so slightly in or around our backyard, more bat shit.
She continues to perch her lazy ass on the top of the couch (think Snoopy), crushing them horribly.
She despises little children, mainly girls.
And, if she sees a weak link in a youngin, she takes every opportunity presented to her.
Now, while some of those issues are just normal dog situations there are a few that I want to abolish...
1. Perching herself on top of the couch. I would rather she either a) lay on the couch; or b) lay on the chair across from the couch. Too much to ask? I think not. Here's the thing. She sits up there because she can see out the big windows. Watch birds. Watch for those evil children. Make sure squirrels stay the hell out of her backyard. You know, dog stuff. However, we have tried clapping our hands and with the help of my mother who was more annoyed with this than me, began yelling for her to get off. You know, "BRIDGET! GETTTT DOWNNNN!!!!!" All day. Every day.
2. Barking at the door. For the love of God, this is good for only ONE SITUATION: when the good ole bible/sorta bible thumpers come-a-knockin' I can quickly (slam) shut the door in their faces because the dog is downright annoying (and so are the thumpers and pushers of quack religions, but that is another topic altogether and I digress). However, they aren't the only ones at my door and unless I invite the visitor inside my house she will continue to bark. Now, I have been able to get her to go to the stairs (in lieu of running out the front door and barking the visitor to death) but she STILL BARKS like I am going to be murdered any minute by some little child and the guilt will be on her shoulders for the rest of her dog years. Gawd Bridget, give it a rest already!!!
3. Bat Shit Crazy at the back door. I should take a day and count how many times she runs full throttle to the back door to be let out (hurry! Hurry! Hurry!) because there is some kid WALKING on the path behind our fence. No one is jumping over our fence. No squirrel means any harm. The birds are simply flying about because they are hungry too. If I had to guess how many times I opened the door to let her out, let her back in, and then tell the kids, "let the dog out" to which they respond "I just did it!" and then I turn to another offspring and say, "Okay, it's your turn, let her out"and around and around we go ALL. DAY. AND. ALL. FRIGGIN. NIGHT. Where was I? Oh, guessing a number...hmmm....I would say 38 trips to the back door either letting her in or letting her out.
Sigh. Damn dog. If I didn't love her so much her ass would have been bugging some other family...
During our many trips to the library I noticed a flyer about a dog training discussion put together, for free, by Helping Idaho Dogs. Jennifer and I decided to go.
It was fantastic! There were only a handful of people there and so I was able to ask a couple of questions and we actually learned a lot from them.
One word: treats.
Treats will save the world, requiring beauty queens to come up with a different cause. Treats will make the grass grow green, cause flowers to bloom, and make the birds sing!
Here is where our brainwashing selves are having a difficult time: we were told (I also want to say we signed a paper, sweartogod)never to give treats in training. Never. You hear me, never! Neverevereverevernever.
So to watch how well treats have worked with Bridget I always have this feeling in the back of my head that we are doing something wrong and will be punished severely by lightening or something.
Anyhoo.
We fought the urge (from fear perhaps, we did sign a paper agreeing and I am a rule follower, dammit to hell) to give the dog treats even though when we did they seemed to work. For instance, we taught her to shake and lay down all with the assistance of treats.
We also struggle with consistency, which I realize is the kiss of death in dog training.
So, the dog training thing at the library. It was fabulous. I loved these two women and their no nonsense approach to training dogs. With treats. (Shhh.)
I came home and decided to give it a try.
1. Barking at the door. I haven't implemented all they suggested but tried a small part of it. Someone rang the bell, I told her to go to the stairs and then as we talked...to a little girl no less...she didn't bark. Of course, she was too busy being fed treats to bark, but hey! That is the thing. Something about telling the dog it is okay and the people at the door are fine (which I won't say when those pesky thumpers appear) and then say, quiet and good, or something like that and give her small tiny little pieces of treat. I could talk at the door! It gave me a small glimmer of hope.
2. The couch. Instead of yelling at her I calmly showed her to the chair and when she was at the chair I said, "chair, good" and gave her treats. This morning I caught her three times going to the chair instead of the couch and I gave her treats each time!!! I guess the philosophy of (crazy) dogs is that she will begin to put together Chair=Treats and Treats=Good. So simple these pups. Now, I did catch her on the couch again and I walked into the hallway and slumped my shoulders (a clear sign of unhappiness which dogs apparently catch on to) and she jumped right off and I ushered her to the chair instead. Work in progress, but I am hopeful. The couch, however, will need some cushion reconstruction surgery at some point in the future.
3. The back door. I only tried this one night and it was successful. Usually the early evening as the sun begins to set is the worst time...kids are out and about...and the dog goes crazy. So, I sat on the couch with some popcorn and she goes running to the back door barking like mad. I looked at her and said, "Bridget, it's okay, I hear them" and she looked at me with at tilt of the head as if to say, huh-a-la-scooby-doo, and then she stopped barking and came over to me, jumped on the couch (another couch and one she does not perch on) and I gave her a treat. Twice more she heard something and went running and barking to the door but after the first time she barked and then immediately looked at me as if to say, "you got more of that yummy popcorn for me?" and again I said it was okay and to come and lay down...which she did...and I rewarded her quietness (let's not get too technical here) with more treats. By Golly, It Worked! Not going bat shit crazy barking at the back door = Treats. Treats = Good.
So, despite the fact that I gave my written word to the people at Bark Busters to never (ever, ever) give the dog treats in training I am committed to working with Bridget to banish some of these bad habits and if that means popcorn, then so be it. I want a quiet dog. What? Perhaps a Beagle was the wrong choice? Oh, shut up.
