I get that we all have bad days. We have moments we wish we could erase. Conversations that we wish we could do over. Comments made that were made in fun but ended up hurting another person. I am guilty as the next guy of doing this, especially with this ole blog of mine and my fingers sometimes type faster than I can realize what I'm saying is hurtful.
I am currently on an emotional roller coaster. I woke up this morning not feeling my best but not really under the weather either. With Larry finally home I have slowly begun to feel this release of joy, pent up stress, and everything that I have been holding in (in order to hold it together) is finally beginning to bubble over and I find myself being overly sensitive at the moment.
Unfortunately in a world of texting/emailing it is sometimes hard to read the message correctly without taking offense by what may be an innocent statement.
Sometimes I wonder why I get so much shit. Am I an easy target? Do I rub people the wrong way? Do they just not care? It is most definitely a hard fall from grace, that's for sure.
Normally I try and let the little things go. Those little jabs via a text or Facebook or in an email that you open and then sit there fuming because all you want to do is write something horrible back but you force yourself to put the phone down before you end up saying something to make it all worse. I try and remember that my husband and my kids love me and that is surely more than enough...but I guess we are always (maybe it's just me) seeking the approval of others (parents, siblings, friends, etc.) all our lives.
I guess at the end of the day the mean-ness must make them feel better about themselves some how and that's alright...putting me down or making me feel bad about something is a way for them to feel superior and better. Okay. I get it. I just wish I didn't take it all so personally because it hurts me.
*****Note: I wrote this post a couple of weekends ago and after reading it I decided to sit on it and not publish it right away so I saved it for later, forgetting that I picked a random date to have it pubish automatically. I wrote this because I was hurt and when I was finished typing I felt better and then the situation cleared itself up. However, I read the post again this morning with the intention of deleting it altogether and realized that I wouldn't do that because that goes against why I write this blog in the first place: to share all the good, bad, and in between, even when life isn't always grand. So, I decided to keep it up. Read it with a grain of salt, but don't over-obsess.
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