I get that some mom's need to work. I still believe that in a lot of situations it costs more for daycare, wear and tear on your car, gas, clothing, lunches out, etc. than it is worth when you really examine the bottom line of the dollars that actually make it home, all in one piece.
But, that is neither here nor there. Everyone makes their choices and that isn't the point of this post anyway.
I am thankful that I don't have to work. Sure, if I did we would I guess have...more...but the more isn't a driving force for me. The more may provide certain freedoms but that is all it does. And, God knows I'm not out searching for more shit to buy nor do I need to maintain close ties with those greedy/pompous/over-the-top Jone's. More is simply not important to me.
I think "society" has it all wrong. They dis daycare and talk about how important it is to be home with your baby. The baby needs you! Your toddler needs you! Your preschooler needs you! And then suddenly those babies and toddlers and preschoolers are all in school full-time so society says, "oh, you must go and work! Do something!" When in fact, it is during THOSE years, I believe, those kids need you MOST.
I was recently talking to a neighbor who works at a middle school and she was saying that she is looking for work somewhere else because the pay is horrible. Yeah, you certainly can't "provide much" if you are banking only on some dollars you make at a school. But, I also assume that her husband makes a decent living and they seem to be "surviving" the summer months when there is no school and therefore no paycheck.
So, why find other work? She said it was hard enough trying to balance it all while working at the school a few hours a day. I don't mind taking my kids to school everyday or picking them up. I like being HOME when they are home during the afternoons. I like sitting down at the table every single night to eat dinner together instead of rushing around endlessly (providing kids MORE, naturally).
I guess I should interject here and say that I am blessed with a husband who doesn't "insist" or "suggest" or "demand" or "guilt me into" getting a job outside the home. What cracks me up about "those" types of husbands...they are the first ones to start complaining because dinner isn't ready (and, hello, let's spend MORE money on going out because now I am too tired to cook...where is the reasoning?!?) or the laundry isn't done or the house is a mess. Because, it all naturally falls on the woman's shoulders, right? My husband and I are still fairly equally split...I cook, he does dishes, I do the laundry and he puts them all away, I work the garden, he works the rest of the yard (and so on).
More importantly, however, is this: the amount either of us does to contribute to OUR family does not, nor has it ever, resulted from who brings home MONEY, as if MONEY is what makes one better than another or more entitled or even more worthy/important. Thank God my husband does not ever feel more than because he is the one literally providing a roof over our head. We are a team and a partnership and we have felt this way since the very beginning. More and more when I listen to other women talk do I feel over the top blessed that I married someone who values me, values my dreams, values my role as wife/mother, and values my contribution to our family and marriage without the topic of money ever coming into the equation. God may bless others with wealth, but I got something way more important and a million times more valuable.
I gingerly asked my neighbor...why? Why would she feel she needs to get a job at some random store to make a few extra bucks they most likely don't really need? For what? So the husband feels you are "participating"? (Is that just a sign that the guy is insecure?) Especially when she has more than one kid and they are all in school and sports and busy! How will she juggle it all and maintain the house and everything else?
Now. Here is my exception to all this. I feel that a job is important in two instances:
1. If you simply must work to make the ends meet. Hello, you do what you gotta do. In fact, I was fully prepared to find myself a job if it meant Larry coming home and going to school full-time. Or, if he finds himself in a similar situation (I am far from naive to think it will not happen again and that we are "safe" in any job in today's unsettled world!!) I am more than prepared to do the daily grind if it means keeping our family TOGETHER and afloat. Amen.
2. If you are doing something that is all about following your dream. Working at Rite Aid is not following your dream, I'm sorry, I don't care how you spin it. But, if you dream of being an actor and you are out at auditions every day, then GO FOR IT. This is sort of where I fall. I have always wanted to write since I was a third grader and I am thankful that I have a husband who supports that, even though it has brought in close to nothing. BUT, here is the thing: IT MAKES ME HAPPY. I write every single day. I use the blog as my warm-up but I work on many other projects during the day/night that most people (including my hubby) know very little about because I don't always talk about all my immediate projects. It isn't even all about publishing and/or making money it is about satisfying my dream...doing what I LOVE to do. And I get to every single day. Win-Win.
We may not be rich in the traditional sense but I have never been happier than I am TODAY. Right now. We certainly have less in our bank account after all that went on these past three years and yet I am overly grateful and happy and CONTENT. More money is just more money. It doesn't bring love or happiness or joy. I really don't care about the Jone's and I don't care about pretenses...my kids are healthy and well-adjusted...my husband is HOME...we are finding joy in the simple things in life...I have happiness in what I "do"...my husband loves what he does...It's all good.
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