Today is my 20th wedding anniversary.
Twenty years ago...
...We arrived at my family's church (where both sets of grandparents were married in 1921 and my parents in 1952) to say "I do" at 2pm.
...For a few seconds before leaving the house I had a fight or flight feeling. Suddenly, I was scared to death.
...The priest could not pronounce our last name.
...My dress was inspired by Princess Di with big puffy shoulders. What I wouldn't give to be able to put that dress on right now.
...We chose not to drink at our reception. We truly wanted to take in every moment, cherish it, and remember it. And you know what? I can still remember exactly how it felt to sit at the head table and look out at all our friends and family and feel so happy and peaceful.
...I guess I loved the color purple. Really? I have spent many years scratching my head over that one. (Purple was the color of the bridesmaid dresses. I know.)
...One wedding decision changed a relationship in my inner circle forever and it was never, nor will it ever be, rectified, addressed, or settled.
...After planning, preparing, and handling every single detail, problem, and emotion it takes to put on a wedding for 300 people the following morning I felt as if the weight of a dozen elephants had been taken off my shoulders. More than being able to fit into my damn wedding dress again, I would absolutely LOVE to have THAT feeling again. I'm not sure I have ever felt that relaxed, that calm, that peaceful since. Sigh.
...We left two days later for our honeymoon on the east coast (shut up) and spent 10 of the absolute BEST days ever. That was also something that has never been duplicated again...that peaceful, calm, relaxing feeling...and truly the best vacation I have ever had and no vacation that followed ever felt the same way.
...We knew we weren't ready to start a family right away (we ended up waiting just over four years) and spent the following years after our wedding buying a house, moving to San Diego, and going to school full-time. Those years were so fabulous. Now it is hard to even think back to a time we had BEFORE our three kids. I wouldn't change a thing.
...A ladybug landed in my veil during the ceremony.
...My bouquet weighed five thousand pounds. This was before the small bouquet rage.
...The same guy who catered my wedding also catered my dad's funeral. At the same church and hall. (What, is that morbid?)
...The weather that day was typical Los Angeles in spring. Low 60s, slight breeze, and haze that lingered over downtown.
...The limo that took us from the church to the hotel was totally gross and red velvet-ish with a driver to match. Ew. However, it has provided us with years of laughter.
...I never would have guessed that our lives would have taken the turns it has taken but I would assume that almost anyone out there married for a long time can say the same thing. I believe our marriage works, especially now long-distance, because we truly support one another. I'm not saying that everything is perfect and happy and blissful and ideal. No. It most certainly is not. I drive him (happily, I believe) crazy and he, at times, bugs the crap out of me. However, there is a mutual respect, a common goal at the end of the day, his incredible desire to make me happy above all. There is no control, no "this is mine" and "this is yours" attitude. We may certainly not always agree but we also try very hard to play fair in this game of life, love, and marriage. We have grown in these twenty years in many ways and yet have stayed committed, focused, in love, and a drive to create a happy, solid, and united family. And, even with a distance of 2500 miles that separate us now, we try and strive for the same connection, support, and love.
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