On Friday I attended (forced by my fourth grader) the local "fourth grade rendezvous". Let me just say, I am glad my daughter is my last child to go through the fourth grade. Nothing against the school or the district who puts this all together...kudos, really...but, Oh My Gawd it was torture in boredom.
Here is what I have a problem with:
The people they get to present the stations (volunteers likely and I totally understand they are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts and blah, blah, blah) are simply boring.
There, I said it.
They. Are. BORINGGGG.
Aren't the kids bored? Apparently not. My daughter had a blast! However, I believe that is accredited by the following:
a) It is a day OUTSIDE and outside the classroom.
b) It is a field trip! They can go to the city dump and have a super fun time.
c) Part of the days festivities included a "trading post" where they were given fake money and were allowed to "buy" a variety of homespun wares.
Outside of the above, there is nothing.
Okay, for those that are possibly not familiar with this Idaho History Fourth Grade Rendezvous, let me shed some light:
They set up dozens of tents, or "stations", where group of people stand ready to inform, enlighten, (and bore) the kids, parent volunteers, and teachers with information ranging from Gems of Idaho, Teepee, Folk Art Toys, Prehistoric Tools of Idaho, Gold Panning, Cowboy History, and Idaho History Music...to name just a few of the almost-forty different stations.
Our list of activities for our school/class was: Animals of Idaho (a taxidermist treasure trove), Native American Plants, Abraham Lincoln (wha?), Gold Panning, Country Store (a break for a snack), Idaho History Music, Trading Post, Gems of Idaho, Lewis and Clark Botanical Gardens, Oregon Trail Wagon, Civil War Canon (come again?), and Square Dancing.
Jennifer came home the day before and said, "Mom, you are going to be so excited! One of the stations is Native American Plants and I told my teacher you were going to love that!"
Okay, first off, be still my heart, my kids get me. However, this is what I heard from that station: "sksghdoifsdfnsdoicndofha;fdnncoiaej" because not only was the guy READING from a sheet of paper (yawn) but he talked so low and mumbly that I couldn't understand a word he said. Not a good way to start the day.
And, Abraham Lincoln? What the hell is that about? I thought this was Idaho history? The history of the WEST? Lewis and Clark. Native Americans. And...the Civil War? Don't get me wrong, I am a fond lover of all things Civil War however, when I'm skiing in Aspen I don't want to be learning about the beaches of Florida.
I looked around at the other parents and teachers wondering if someone else was sharing in my gasp-ness over how Abraham Lincoln does NOT belong amongst the history of Idaho and Lewis and Clark. No one seemed perturbed. But, it bugged the CRAP out of me. I think I even shook my head while listening to Lincoln talk about himself in first person, also annoying.
The gem guy was boring. The animal lady was at times interesting but the station, at thirty minutes, was about 25 minutes too long. The Idaho History Music guy was hysterical and I laughed at certain moms who were visibly annoyed and disturbed when he began singing words like, "damn" and "makin' love" in his campfire twang. History isn't prim and proper gals.
The Oregon Trail Wagon would have been interesting if the guy (photos below) said anything (he only asked if anyone had questions) and if the children asking the questions you could actually hear, or better, if you could hear the prairie woman answering. The Lewis and Clark Botanical Gardens were fascinating (how the two packed for their trip and what other uses plants provided for them) if you could hear the lady talking (in her proper high tea voice) over the bullhorn from a station directly behind us. (By now a headache was fully in place.)
And lunch with fourth graders? My hand was stepped on and I believe a bag of juice came within inches of hitting my face as children threw them at each other. Lord help me. When is this thing over?!
Now, I'm not just about complaining (shut it) but also to share what I think should take place at these Rendezvous if I were in charge (ah, what a world...).
1. I would keep the right history with the right history. I would not have an event featuring Idaho History and combine that with WWII. Or, Lewis and Clark and Nixon's resignation. Idaho. History. Not hard people.
2. I would hire ACTORS and PERFORMERS. People to dress and dance and sing and entertain while we learn. Making kids sit for fifteen minute stints and then move along like cattle at the sound of the cowbell to change stations and sit some more is not fun. Sing a song about the gems in the state. Do a little skit on Lewis and Clark and how they packed and used plants for many uses. Entertain us! History is Fun!
3. I would make the whole event totally interactive. Get the kids involved in making soap out of a plant, take a ride in a covered wagon, cook a meal in a dutch oven. Now, to be fair, there were SOME interactive activities like square dancing, panning for gold, and roping.
4. Give the parents a little snack at the country store. We are people too. We are hungry for a little mid-day treat to break up the otherwise boring-as-hell event where presenters can't be heard, they read from a piece of paper, and talk in monotone. A little piece of jerky, some popcorn, licorice and a cookie would have been more than welcomed.
Next year the fifth graders head to a similar event about the Civil War (and I'm pretty damn sure no other war is going to be featured and I'm also pretty damn sure a character dressed up as Eisenhower will be nowhere in sight! Maybe I can dress as Sacajawea and crash in on those cocky Union Soldiers!) and you can be damn sure I will sidetrack my daughters plea to volunteer for that...even though I love Civil War history but people I went to Gettysburg for God's sake! I don't want to stand with a bunch of fifth graders and listen once again to these people ramble on! The only difference is the fifth graders all stand because sitting is so fourth grade.
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