A Few Chapters Close

1.  I am no longer dealing with being a single mom.  I don't have to take out the trash, figure out how to get the upstairs air conditioning to work, or wonder why the front lawn has some brown spots.  I don't have to be the only one dealing with the kids all day, all night, 24/7.  I don't have to do it ALL by myself: the dishes, the discipline, the dog, the housework, the yard, the car, the laundry, etc. etc. etc.  Most importantly, we are back together as one family unit.  THAT is the best thing.  If I were to do it again, I wouldn't.  Sure, I learned that I could take the car in by myself for oil changes, I could change the light bulbs if I had to, and I could try and get the ice maker in the refrigerator to start working again...but, big whoop.  I know I am strong enough.  I know I am independent enough.  But, we all suffered from this situation in our own way.  If it happened again I would tell the kids to prepare to leave in sixty days...say goodbye, pack up, and join my husband wherever it was he landed.  Living apart is not ideal.  We need each other and while the kids teachers all told me that despite the challenges our family faced this school year, the kids were amazingly well-adjusted and did outstanding all year...I would never agree to this sort of arrangement again.  I'm glad it is over, even if it means major (and very heartbreaking) change.

2.  We had our last "official" scrapbook Friday night at my house last week.  When Corinna left and I locked the door behind her, I cried.  It's over.  I remember when I first arrived in this town and I wanted to scrapbook so badly...went to a store a few times...sat by myself and listened to all the women around me having fun...was about to give it up and just scrapbook at home, by myself (which was what I expected to do when I moved here and envisioned myself in this lovely room of mine, alone)...when I met Corinna in the fall of 2004.  I think, with the exception of handfuls of times, we have scrapbooked on Friday nights ever since.  And, in the last three or so years, our routine has been consistent and over-the-top FUN.  There are SO many inside jokes, laughs, giggles-until-you-almost-pee-your-pants, and rituals that it pains me to think I will really be alone-alone when I move.  Oh sure, I will eventually meet people, maybe even people that scrapbook (there is not, from what I could tell, a "scrapbook" only kind of store where I'm headed) but it will never, EVER be the same as what I had here.  It has been the absolute BEST time scrapbooking I have EVER had.  EVER.  The amazing creative energy...the amazing camaraderie...the amazing fact that Corinna will take the endless mocking of her use of die's...I could go on and on.  I will miss it.  A LOT.  Scrapbooking for me will never be quite the same.  So, thank you all for making this time an absolute GREAT time doing a little hobby of pushing paper around our personal memories.  I could not have asked for a better run...

3.  My parent's house.  The plan originally was all so picture perfect.  My dad wanted to be up here closer after we moved out of San Diego.  They decided to build a house close enough that my dad could walk to my house (as he advanced in age and maybe couldn't drive anymore) or the kids could ride their bikes to their house.  Less than a year later, my dad dies.  A new normal is formed.  My mom flies up a few times a year.  The kids have sleepovers at her house.  She comes over for breakfasts on the weekends and dinners every night.  The kids are excited when she is due to come and are sad when she leaves.  And while TRYING to keep up with her house, yard, car, etc. proved to be entirely overwhelming in itself for all of us, plus our own house, yard, cars, and life...this is another chapter closing.  My mom's house is for sale, her belongings already en-route to San Diego...the pictures are off the wall...the counters are cleared...the cabinets, drawers, and closets are empty.  And, after next Monday her furniture will be bunking with mine on the ride east.  Seeing her house with boxes and the for sale sign in the yard, is completely and utterly bittersweet.  I am very sad.  My dad had such high hopes.  Such good intentions.  Such good dreams.  And now it is over.  My mom slept there for the last time last night.  Tonight she will sleep here in my guest room since she leaves before the sun comes up tomorrow to head back home, her real home.  From now on she will visit us in Pennsylvania but stay at our house.  She won't have her own car, the kids will not be able to have "sleepovers", and she will not only have dinners with us but all meals.  It will be another change.  Something new to call normal again.  And, I will mourn this loss like I have mourned losses in the past...and will be mourning any other losses on the horizon as well.

These three chapters have all come to a close within three days of each other.  Let's hope when I open the new book the chapters are filled with sunshine, love, happiness, joy, and contentment.