What Doesn't Kill You...

...makes you stronger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shut up.

Who says shit like that? And, what does it mean really?

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?  So, if I escape a murderer, am I really stronger or am I just scared shitless?  If I thwart a bullet at point blank range (yes, I have been on a murder mystery reading binge, so what) am I truly considered stronger or just fucking LU.CK.Y.?

Or, is the whole thing not really about the actual act of killing, just something extremely difficult or powerful?  (I know.)

Someone said this to me today.

I wanted to smack her.

Yes, I suppose it is fair to say that this whole situation will in fact make me stronger.  But, is this something I am striving for?  Do I feel somehow not strong enough?  Have I used up my lifelines and now I require strength and more of it?  Can I order a super size of King Kong strength with a side of power and courage?

Give me a break.

I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm up to my fucking eyeballs in homework overseeing, aiding in studying, taking out the damn trash, cleaning, cooking, driving little people from here to there and back again only to have a phone call (which shall remain nameless) indicating that perhaps my 6:15 dinnertime is on the late side. 

You're kidding here right?

You. Are. Not. Suggesting. That. I. Should. Have. Dinner. On. The. Table. At. A. Certain. Time. Are you?  Because I may have to hurt you. 

Right about now is when I would close the door and let Larry deal with putting kids to bed and making sure lunches are made and backpacks are ready for school tomorrow.  Yeah, exactly. sigh. 

Make me stronger...

I don't want to be stronger.  I feel fairly strong now.  I have traveled alone.  I have lived on my own.  What I want right now is to have my husband rub my tired feet.  And maybe pop me some popcorn.  And take the trash out because today is Thursday.  And close down for the night because I just want to go to bed at 8:30. 

I don't want condescending rhetoric, I want someone to kidnap me for the weekend so I can sleep and not talk.  I want someone to wave a magic wand and let all this job/economy/crappy housing market go away.  I want someone to hug me and maybe bring me a nice big bundt cake (with chocolate drizzled down the sides...) or big fat chocolate chip cookies or something.  I want someone to wallow in self-pity with me.  Is that too much to ask?

"Don't be afraid to trust an unknown future."  OK, as long as it will make me stronger, all will be well.

Comments

[corinna]

lol... I guess I know what I am bringing for dessert!

I will wallow with you.

Just think... by the time this has all passed... you will be so strong you will be able to pick your house up on your shoulders and move it to where every you land.

I suppose saying "hang in there" would qualify as condescending rhetoric right now, so I will just say....

The Bitch Is hiding I Think It Might Be Time To Rattle Her Chain.
Where Is My Screw Driver!?

Now... do you feel better?
Comma.