I have always been drawn to a somewhat simpler lifestyle even though we are surrounded by a society that thrives on the newest, loudest, blingiest, fastest thing and I live in a house that is far from simple, in the middle of a subdivision.
But, in my heart, I want simple.
Which could be why I am drawn to history so much. Not that their lives without modern conveniences and medicine and so on was easy, no, but it was simple in the fact that they didn't have the distractions we have today. Inundated at every turn.
I was struck recently with the notion that millions of Americans will be forced to forgo their credit cards this holiday season and the news program interviewed dozens of people in shopping malls who said they are forced to cut back this year. The first thing I thought about was how our ancestors survived in the days before credit cards. It was "simple". No money. No things. Money was used for survival: food, shelter, clothing. Not fancy cell phones and expensive game systems and cars that cost more than most mortgages and toys in kids bedrooms that make me cringe with embarrassment when I think about it.
They didn't go overboard at Christmastime. They were simple. They fed their families and made sure there was something under the tree for the children. Their lives were not necessarily extravagant. Not like today. Credit cards make you feel like you are rich even when you aren't. It is like play money and oh sure you may be the 2% of Americans who "pay their bill at the end of the month" and they are great because of frequent flier miles and all of that but in the end we are spending more and more on stuff. Stuff that brings us no more joy in the end. It may initially be a high, but the high doesn't last.
Our Christmas this year will be simple. I would love it if I can take one small step back to a time when the kids didn't expect dozens of gifts (we've never done dozens however) and they were happy with less and perhaps joyful about the meaning of Christmas and doing less that requires spending and more that requires time only. And that also means less hustle and bustle, less running from point A to point B, and less doing. We will try our best this year to head towards simple.
We have been personally hit by this economy. My husband was laid off in summer. Luckily, we don't use credit cards and our only expenses, besides raising three kids and upkeeping a home and cars, is our house. Our cars may be old, but they are paid for. I don't like to shop and I don't really like running errands because that usually means spending money and I'm not a huge fan of that either. I will admit, sometimes it is fun, like when I go to the bookstore or my current obsession with Scentsy. We don't replace things very quickly and we don't have the newest (hence our cars), biggest, brightest, fastest thing out there and while our house may be large, I do try and think simpler and smaller. I'm also not in need or want of much. I guess we all have a list and I have one in my head too but I rarely act on it. I like jewelry a lot but I have not purchased anything since our fifth wedding anniversary and we added a diamond band to my wedding ring and that was in 1996.
I like grocery shopping and seeing how little I can spend and still feed my family of five (well, four at the moment) on good, healthy food. I like learning ways to be frugal (which has come in handy right now as our economy tanks). I like saving money and finding ways to do something without spending a fortune.
I was watching the Suze Orman show last night (amazing the things I flip to when Larry isn't here changing the channels to sports!) and she had a woman on who lived in Orange County and was almost a quarter million dollars in credit card debt alone. Her house was worth 900K and while they only paid a scant over 300K many years back, they have mortgaged it to the hilt and owe all of 900K on it. They have car payments that are over 1200 a month. I literally had a sick stomach listening to this woman talk. She didn't even seem to care. Suze's advice was to sell the house (even if it required a short sale) and rent a small apartment. Sell the cars and buy something more affordable and start working down that mountain of debt (I wouldn't be able to sleep). And I wondered...how many people are in a mess, maybe not as big, because they don't want to look like they couldn't make it? Who are they trying to impress really? And, the bigger question: WHY? This woman refused to listen to Suze's advice. Told her she didn't want to do that even though her husband was cashing in his 401k and they were still short by the tune of 10K a month. I wonder if she thinks she can juggle those balls in the air indefinitely? Sooner or later, that deficit will catch up to her. And why exactly is she willing to keep the balls in the air? For show? Because her house is big and beautiful and landscaped impeccably? And her driveway has two big, shiny cars? Really? Is it all THAT important? How terribly sad. I would rather have little and know that I don't owe much to anyone. Somewhere along the fast lane we forgot that if you don't have money (the green stuff) then you shouldn't be buying things.
I'm not sitting here on some high horse, at least I'm not intending to. I realize where my horse is parked. I have cell phones and computers and TVs in almost every room. I live in a house that is expensive to keep warm and cool. I realize that. I guess in my heart I want simple. I crave simplicity in many areas of my life and I will admit that I am not always successful at my goals. However, with possible change in the new year, I am looking at things differently and will go more towards simple...and honestly, it makes me happy.
I will also say that now that our family has been personally affected by a layoff, I will be forever changed in the ways I think about money and the ways I think about spending. I am no longer in a glass bubble of, "it will never happen to me" and "spend like there is no tomorrow". I am firmly aware that tomorrow will come and so will bills that need to be paid.
I also hope, as a fringe benefit, that my kids are learning from this as well. That life makes some strange turns in your road and you need to do your best at being prepared and being responsible. No matter how badly you want XYorZ (and in their case it was a repair on an Xbox that they were $35 short on) you have to work hard to save the money before you can buy what you so desperately want. (No money = no things. See, simple). I hope that they will see that we don't live by means of credit cards, ever, not even for the frequent flier miles or the promise that they will be paid off at the end of the month. I don't care what the lack of credit debt does to my credit score. Our goal has always been to be completely debt free and right now we are a mere mortgage away. And I hope that our kids see that we don't rush out and buy things that are new just because we want them. I hope we are teaching them something...
And for a small part I have seen a change in them regarding their dad's layoff and the impending Christmas holidays. While they know there will be presents under the tree, their list is surprisingly short (Josh only wants two things and okay, Jennifer is still young and her list spans two pages!) and they seem to understand the realization that their dad has been out of work and we haven't seen a paycheck since the beginning of summer.
So my goal from here forward is to truly live more simply. I'm not sure how to do that yet, but I know that when I enjoy simple pleasures...like the birds feeding outside my kitchen window all day long...I find complete peace. I have already said "no" more than "yes" when it comes to asking of my time or other things...and while that may not be totally a "simple" issue...it is for me with my husband not around and my energy level is limited at best. I am going to aim more towards simple pleasures, simple meals, simple enjoyment and see where that takes us because with simplicity, there is peace and comfort and joy.
Now, I'm off to slow down and smell the coffee...(well, and drink it too, I haven't any yet today!)
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