So that is my sort of unofficial "word of the year."
Believe.
It is unofficial because I am at a point where I am no longer influenced by the "super stars" of the scrapbook world. They no longer interest me. I no longer read their blogs or buy their magazines. I'm tired (and admittedly annoyed) of their constant "projects" and because of the mood I find myself in more days than not, also their (fake) enthusiasm. (And don't get me started on all the followers who skip along the happy trails lined with butterflies and gold-encrusted smiley faces.)
Projects, retreats, paint-your-way-to-a-more-perfect-you, yearlong assignments...gag. There is no room in my head for any of this nonsense anymore.
(Okay, maybe today is not the best day to write this post as I am feeling an overwhelming shadow of grey taking over.)
I don't know...maybe because I've been (happily) out of the whole "scrapbook industry" for so long now I have lost my mojo. Lost my desire to keep up. Lost my desire to buy and shop and load my room with more shit I'll never use (or find myself using in 2015 when it will be just yesterdays old crap that I will tell myself I must use in order to justify buying it in the first place years and years ago). I don't care what rainbows these "super stars" are riding and promoting these days. I simply don't care anymore.
However, I do want to scrapbook again and I hope to get the feelings I once had over this hobby to return. I want to scrapbook simpler. I want to document the piles of stories I have written on notes, in books, and in my head, before I forget them. I want to capture the little moments in my kids lives again before they are all off to college. I want to remember the good and the bad and the everyday. I just want to have simple fun with a hobby I once couldn't live without...and now find myself struggling to find the desire to even care about scrapbooking again.
I haven't bought anything new or a piece of paper in a VERY LONG time. Besides a little something here or there when I came out in May...it has been over TWO YEARS since I have even stocked up on new scrapbooking supplies. I don't miss it. I don't crave it. I don't have that passion anymore. Is it hiding in me yet? I'm not sure anymore. Will I get back to at least scrapbooking? I hope so at some point. But I know one thing for sure: it will never get to where it once was. That high, that level, that passion, that desire, that excitement, that pushing the envelope...is completely shelved and safely packed away in the attic. Part of me is sad and the other part of me shrugs my shoulder in complete indifference.
Alrighty then. Perhaps I need to hitch a ride on the happy-train.
Believe. I'm not really doing "anything" with this word, at least not yet. I'm not going to paint pretty pictures with it nor make a scrapbook layout with it. I found the word in wood/letter form on some discount rack after Christmas. Instead of packing it up with my holiday stuff I decided to leave it on my desk in the office.
I'm hoping the word will remind me to do just that: believe. Believe that my life will make a turn for the better soon. Believe that better days are ahead. Believe that my desire to create will come back, at least in some capacity. Believe in myself. Believe in my abilities. Believe in my writing. Believe in my husband. Believe in this world I'm living in.
Just believe.
No magical canvases to paint. No classes to attend. No year-long assignments or expensive retreats...
Just a SIMPLE reminder to believe again.
If I could give you a standing ovation (sp?) I would be doing just that very thing right now! I love your thoughts on the superficial part of this hobby and I too will be every so grateful when you are ready to start playing with strips and circle again... because let's face it... strips and circle are hot. They simply rock! They are where trend setting begins. Simple and easy. Hey, just like me! ha! Oh Snap! can you feel the sting! lol
Posted by: Corinna | January 23, 2011 at 04:05 PM